Thursday, September 04, 2003

Two Cows and International Systems

1. SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

2. COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

3. FASCISM: You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

4. NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

5. BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...

6.TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

7. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

8. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

9. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

10. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

11. A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

12. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

13. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

14. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 2 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them!

15. A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
newsman who reported the numbers.

16. A HONG KONG CORPORATION You have two cows on the 18 Floor. You have a Filipino maid to milk them. The cows get SARS and you blame it on Tung Chee Wah.

17. KOWLOON CANTON RAILWAY CORPORATION:- You have two cows. You freeze the fodder that they feed on hoping that the cows will produce more milk.

18. AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...

19. AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

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